All of the facts that follow are true, unlike the many lies that accompany them.
Gerson
was born late in the third quarter of the 1999. He quickly became recognized
as one of the foremost authorities in his field, a distinction he holds
to this day. After enjoying critical praise for his work he suddenly ceased
production and went into hiding in a tent in front of Wrigley Field, where
he lived mostly on a diet of foul balls and gruel. After a popular rediscovery
of his work showed him to be the fraud he is, he took up residence in Manchester
where he struggled to clear his name by creating some of the finest works
of plagiary and chicanery the west had seen in more than five weeks. With
his name and passport cleared, he returned to the site of his greatest
triumph, where he was welcomed by several throngs. His rise to power an
almost sure thing, he purchased much of Utah, where he began construction
of a 50 ft fudge ripple monument to A. A. Milne, which resulted in a standoff
with local authorities, the destruction of the statue, and a severe tummy-ache.
Now almost broke, Gerson was forced to auction off several of his neighbors'
personal possesions, which helped him find a new home courtesy of the government
of Utah. When he was released four years later, another popular rediscovery
of his work was underway, but this time he was being hailed as both a lost
genius and a cab driver. Unable to handle his newfound success, he invented
the principal technology used in printed circuit boards.